Tattoos, like the reasons people get them, are generally bad; and the cultural appropriation of phrases like “Pura Vida” by pasty skinned white-folk are no exception. In an effort to save a few Gringos from making the same mistakes as some of the idiot Gringos that came before them, The CR Post presents the Top 13 Reasons to get a stupid Pura Vida Tattoo:

#13 Because you hate animals

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#12 To avoid finding a job

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#11 Because you fell in love with a surf instructor in Tamarindo that one summer

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#10 Because you are a slut

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#9 Because you hate your skin

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#8 Because Sloths Don’t Care About Gender Labels

#7 To be read while you are begging for money since that TEFL gig went south

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#6 Because you are a huge douchenozzle

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#5 Because you love cocks

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#4 Because the Devil made you

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#5 Because it beats cleaning your fingernails

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#4 Because you don’t speak Spanish

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#3 Because your an insufferable jerk

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#2 Because you cant afford a tattoo artist

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#1 To to commemerate the first time you Murdered a Prostitute

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