As every God fearin’ Bible totin’ American knows, Hillary Clinton is running the first presidential campaign in the history of the United States based explicitly on the gutting of a core Constitutional and human right. The right to bear arms. Hillary’s election would not only eviscerate the Second Amendment but also lead to a bloodbath that would make Benghazi look like Bed, Bath and Beyond once UN Troops are sent in to pry the last of the firearms from the cold hands of a bunch of dead dudes in Lynyrd Skynyrd shirts. So if Donald Trump doesn’t win the election you will be left with no other choice other than pack up your guns and move to Costa Rica right?

“Now lets abort some babies!”
Wrong Señor Gun Lover. Unlike in the United States, here in paradise there is no Second Amendment to protect your God given right to bear arms and blow stuff up. Actually in Costa Rica carrying a weapon is considered a privilege not a right, and it’s a privilege not offered to border-hopping perpetual tourist, and one that is slowly being taken away even from law-abiding citizens while violent crime continues to rise. As The CR Post mentioned in another article, Costa Rica lawmakers have already revoked the rights of most security guards to be armed which inexplicably lead to a spike in organized assaults on local business in the nations capital, a result that no one could have possibly predicted. Even now local law makers are working on a law that would ban the sale of toy guns, camouflage and military themed video games in Costa Rica so you can forget about little Timmy learning how to kill foreigners on his XBOX Live. And unlike in the United States, since we have no military, there is no one to stop the boys in baby blue berets from marching into town and taking your Boomsticks one day should they decide to do so.


Now some of you may be thinking that Costa Rica sounds perfect for a pacifist like you, seeing as how you don’t think people need guns anyway. Unfortunately for you, the criminals in Costa Rica do need guns, mostly to kill you with, which is why many of them are armed to the teeth. Recently there has been an increase of criminals arrested with military grade assault weapons like AK-47s, weapons they have already proven aren’t afraid to use in broad daylight. Also with stories of police officers confiscating legal weapons from citizens during random traffic stops making the rounds while lawmakers continue to release criminals from prison due to overcrowding, it’s enough to unnerve any reasonable NRA member. Long story short: If you love guns Costa Rica may not be right for you.