Yesterday The Costa Rica Post brought our readers the story of a group of scientist who got dirty while going down on some perfect Costa Rican balls in an area known as “Finca 6” in Palmar Sur.

While the archaeologist themselves seemed satisfied with the results of their studies, TheCRPost found the whole scene to be a little anti-climatic, especially since no definitive proof of ancient aliens was unearthed.

Although we always wondered what Costa Rican balls look like from underneath, a lot of other questions have yet to be unanswered. For that reason The Costa Rica Post has compiled a short list of things we were hoping would be discovered at Finca 6 before a bunch of stupid scientist ruined it for us.

#7. Proof that Darth Vader Was Here

#6. Proof that Pokémon Actually Exist

#5. Proof that Chemita Isn’t Rich

#4. Proof that Boobies Are Awesome

#3. Proof That Not All Ticos Are Terrible at Soccer

#2. Proof that Ticas Prefer Circumcised Penises

#1. Proof that Nicaraguans Invented Gallo Pinto