Recently, after tasking one of our unpaid interns with researching a sudden spike in viewership, it was revealed to us that the influx of new followers could in fact be due to the increase in celebrities that have began to read The Costa Rica Post.
From Reality Television stars to political prisoners, our readership is more diverse than a crowded bathroom during Bruno Mars Night at Puchos. As Rainbow Randolph used to say before he hanged himself with his belt, “friends come in all sizes.”
Although we are extremely confident that there are many more celebrities out there that read The Costa Rica Post, today we will only be focusing on the ones that we can actually prove. So without further ado, here’s The Top 5 Celebrities that read The Costa Rica Post:
The Top 5 Celebrities that read The Costa Rica Post
#5. Tony Rabachuk
Probably the least known name on the list, but a celebrity none-the-less, Canadian drummer Tony Rabachuk definitely reads The Costa Rica Post. But despite his exceptional percussion work on the song “Summertime” from the Lost Boys 2 Soundtrack, prior to our article about him, Rabachuk was previously only known to Corey Feldman fans and hard-up Ticas on Tinder.
Tony Rabachuk first appeared on The Costa Rica Post’s radar this past September, when he posted a “Public Warning Announcement” on Facebook, after a Tica he met online broke his little Canadian heart. Here’s a condensed version of his post:
Although at that point The Costa Rica Post knew who Tony Rabachuk was, we wouldn’t become aware that the incredibly cheap Canadian was reading our publication until a full month later, when we were alerted by YouTube that someone had been complaining about a video we posted. That someone, of course, was Tony Rabachuk.
The video in question, which contained nothing more than real audio of the drummer claiming the article we wrote made him sound pretty cool, was eventually removed from YouTube due to their anti-bullying policy.
Fortunately though, since Facebook doesn’t care about people’s feelings, the original audio can still be found HERE.
#4. Cuba Dave
There’s not much we can say about Cuba Dave that hasn’t been said before, especially considering the sheer volume of things we’ve said about him in the five-hundred articles we’ve written about the guy in the past.
The one thing most people don’t know though, is that Cuba Dave Strecker, despite his shortcomings, reads The CR post.
Cuba Dave when you get around to reading this, as you and I both know you will, we would love to interview you for a new article sometime. Call us.
#3. JP Sears
Coming in at number three on our list is Certified Holistic Coach and Youtube Star JP Sears.
Although already well known in the USA, JP Sears didn’t become a household name in Costa Rica until earlier this year when he made the mistake of mocking the country in a satirical YouTube video that sparked animosity among the island nation’s notoriously pacifist inhabitants. In some cases even inspiring sad video responses like this one:
Among the offended was a former employee of The Costa Rica Post, a young intern by the name of “Tico Doug”, who seemed to take the joke more personal than most. Doug went on to write a series of articles in which he blamed the Youtuber for everything from landslides to crocodile attacks, in a deliberate attempt at destabilizing the privileged ginger’s fan base.
Eventually a deal was struck between Doug and JP that a cease fire would be declared, but only if the red headed celebrity would own up to reading the publication. Which of course, he did.
#2. Kourtney Kardashian
I hate the Kardashians and I hope you do too, but if there is one good thing I can honestly say about Kourtney Kardashian, its that her sister is only sort of a whore.
Besides basically being a prostitute, her sister is also filthy rich which is how Kourtney and her borderline hooker sister were able to afford their recent luxury vacation to Costa Rica, the very place she would later learn about The Costa Rica Post. Although the Kardashians visit brought lots of positive attention to the tourism dependent country, the sad reality is the television star had no clue where she was, at least according to her Instagram post where is she referred to Costa Rica as an island.
Obviously the Costa Rica post took the opportunity to mock the reality television actress via our preferred medium, memes, making sure to tag the young Kardashian in our Twitter post.
She hearted it! It was at this moment the Costa Rica post began to reassess our thoughts on the hottest Kardashian. Were we too harsh? Had we been too quick to judge? I mean if she loved our post, how dumb could she really be? Regardless, if you’re reading this Kourtney, DM me, and thanks for reading The Costa Rica Post!
#1. María Luisa Ávila Agüero
Our newest celebrity follower, and probably the smartest person on the list, is former Costa Rica Health Minister, Maria Luis Avila.
Miss Avila recently showed the world that she read The Costa Rica Post when she shared one of our articles on her Facebook Page, and – in a shocking plot twist – it turns out that the accomplished pediatrician doesn’t totally hate us.
Along with the shared link to our article, which has since garnered over 1,800 reactions (155 of which are sad emojis), the former First Lady of Medicine also commented something in Spanish that we had to pay the guy in the picture below five dollars to translate for us.
According to our homeless translator, not only was the successful doctor not criticizing the article of ours she was sharing, she was actually commending it for its brutally honest headline.
“A Pedophile killed a minor that he abused right in front of everyone, including close family members of both the victim and the pedophile”, accused the former First Lady of Medicine. “Finally a title that really reflects what happened here” she said.
The brilliant doctor/CRPost reader signed off her post with the hashtag “#amishijosloseducoyo”, an obvious jab at the pedophile coddling conservative Catholics, who prefer to educate their kids about sex at home, rather than offer them a chance at survival in the real world.
If you are a famous person reading this article and would like to be mentioned in our next top five list, please email firstname.lastname@example.org or send us a private message on Facebook