Born in the city of Alajuela, Juan Santamaría was just a simple drummer in the Costa Rican army with a talent for tossing torches before the Second Battle of Rivas gave him a chance to show off his very specific skill set.

“I have come here to chew bubblegum and throw torches. And I’m all out of bubblegum.” – Juan Santamaria April 11, 1856

When the commanding officer asked for a volunteer to set fire to the structure that housed enemy troops, Juan stepped up to the challenge, successfully igniting the fort, turning the tide of war against the filibuster’s army.

Thanks to Santamaria’s throwing arm, Costa Rica was saved, but unfortunately the young drummer lost his life in the process. Today we ponder what would have happened had he not.

The Costa Rica Post recently tasked one of our interns with providing a list of jobs that would have been perfect for Mr. Santamaria had he survived the war instead of dying during the best part. This is what he came up with:

#7. Flower delivery Guy

#6. Airport Ground Control

#5. MLB Pitcher

#4. Street Juggler

#3. Olympic Torch Lighter

#2. Pro Skier

#1. He-Man