Escazu, Costa Rica –  A newborn baby, found in an empty lot by neighbors in Escazu today, probably doesn’t belong to Costa Rican celebrity Elena Umaña. According to one expert we spoke with, it would be nearly impossible to pin the crime on the Cumbia star, since she wasn’t even pregnant when the baby was allegedly born to begin with.

The Artist formerly-known-as “Kalua”, rose to fame in the local Cumbia circuit with hit songs such as Contra La Pared (Against the Wall), Hasta Donde Se Te Estira (How far will it stretch) and her Spanish interpretation of “Still the One” by Shania Twain titled “Sigues Siendo Tu”, which one of our interns renamed “The Nipple Song” for the purpose of this article. The video for which we have generously posted below.

Terrible music aside, Umaña became a household name this past Tuesday, when PANI took custody of the artist’s toddler, after she abandoned the child alone in a courthouse parking lot in Heredia while she went inside to “take care of some business.”

According to sources, the woman allegedly left the sleeping child in her car while she filed a complaint against her ex-husband for being a terrible father; despite the fact that he has never abandoned a child in a parking lot.

Shown here not abandoning a child in a parking lot

Although the two-year-old was returned to the singer this past Tuesday, as a result of her carelessness, the artist will be required to attend parenting classes if she wishes to retain custody of the child.

The newborn baby was discovered wrapped in a sheet in an empty lot near Aliss in Escazu. Elena Umaña was not immediately available for comment.