I have good news and bad news for all you Ticolandia watchers out there. A group representing Costa Rica’s top public sector unions and governmental leaders recently chartered a private jet to take them to a luxury adults only resort in the Cayman Islands, when a catastrophic engine failure forced the aircraft to ditch in stormy, shark infested waters. There were no survivors. Now the bad news: The recovery crew reports, there were two empty seats on the charter.

You may remember, kids, in our last episode (Bonfire of the Gullible) that we went over how chiseling and rank stupidity on the part of a myriad of alpha-numeric public sector unions and their moronic political enablers are anally gang raping this otherwise wonderful country.

Plan 20580 known officially as El Fortalecimiento De Las Finanzas Públicas, but more commonly referred to as “El Pacquetazo”- our government’s massive 119 page collection of new taxes, designed to keep the government afloat was struck down as unconstitutional by Costa Rica’s highest court.

Now it is up to legislators, who support the bill (the vast majority) to revamp the tax plan in the hope that the court plays along.

After which the plan faces a final vote in La Asamblea before becoming law. This writer is prepared to predict that an adjusted version of El Pacquetazo will be deemed legal by the high court, and then will pass by a vast margin of legislators.

All of this was supposed to have happened, first by 31 October and then by 15 November. At press time the tax plan remains in limbo.

Instead of our elected representatives understanding and accepting that Costa Rica’s government has become way too bloated, way too inefficient and way-WAY too corrupt and thusly must be shrunk to at least one third of it’s current size, the brain trust we don’t trust has decided to double down on the buffoonery.

Not only have our current “leaders” not lifted a finger to slow government self largesse, these balloon heads have actually managed to make our government bigger and more expensive still! I’m not kidding here.

In the last sixty days Costa Rica’s federal government has gone from being merely 80 agencies larger than that of the United States of America to 83 agencies larger.

What services could these three new ministries possibly pretend to provide, to We The People, that the other 300 (yes, that’s right) THREE HUNDRED OTHER agencies don’t pretend to provide now? What other aspects of our lives could they possibly want to control? Well, let’s see – We don’t have a Ministry of Funny Hats so far as I know. Or a ministry dedicated to the self-esteem of transgender monkeys. How about a government department for combating embarrassing chronic irritable bowel syndrome? It could go by the acronym DCECIBS. In a nation that consumes it’s collective weight in black beans on a daily basis, you’d think it would be a no brainer. The people demand action! All this excessive farting has gone on way too long. Hey, I’m just getting warmed- up. It doesn’t stop there.

These very same bandidos sin vergüenzas, have now proposed another new law aimed at protecting themselves from prosecution related to graft. You can’t make this stuff up, folks.

This new law would make it possible for Costa Rica’s legions of corrupt bureaucrats to keep cash and assets gained through corrupt acts as government officials. This is all on top of the pillaging We The People receive every time these same snakes simply cash their salary, bonus and retirement checks. Simply put, these chuckle heads want to make public graft legal. Now you private sector, tax paying types that pay those chuckle head’s livelihoods, you’d better not even think of avoiding paying your taxes, though. Oh no. That most definitely will remain FORBOTTEN.

Another new gem of a law passed by our heroes has caused a recent shortage of over the counter meds’ here in Costa Rica.

This new law prohibits any drug, such as Bayer’s Forte aspirin which is produced in Guatemala for distribution in Central America, from entering Costa Rica unless the box the drug comes in says “Costa Rica” on the back. Ain’t that irony for you? At a time when our government produces nothing but headaches, an honest patriot can’t so much as buy an aspirin that actually works.

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According to a recent report issued by The Government, another 28.000 ticos lost their private sector jobs since the beginning of this year (2018). What has the response been by our government here in Pura Vida- ville, you might ask? Well, to raise salaries and bonuses of GOVERNMENT workers – of course!

It’s as if the crew of the Titanic, instead of helping the terrified passengers into their flotation vests and life boats, had decided to get drunk and loot their cabins instead.

On a recent visit to the men’s room at immigration offices in Heredia, I noticed a prolific observation written in felt pen on the wall above the urinal. No doubt penned by a disillusioned gringo. It read in clear block letters:

“WILL THE LAST TAX PAYING, JOB CREATING, SERVICE PROVIDING GRINGO LEAVING COSTA RICA, PLEASE TURN OFF THE LIGHTS.”

Where is the great Pepe Figueres when we need him most? Rolling over in his grave no doubt.

Stay tuned fellow masochists…

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