Four American children, between the ages of three and ten residing in Cóbano, Puntarenas, are suspected of having measles, according to the Ministry of Health.

The parents of the infected children, who according to statistics probably smoke a lot of weed and do border runs every three months, chose not to vaccinate their children, most likely due to some bullshit they read on the internet.

The, neglected children, who were treated at the Cóbano Clinic, have had a fever since March 15, while the skin breakouts began a few days later. “The cases are considered highly suspicious due to their clinical presentation,” “the Ministry of Health reported in a press release.

The entire family, consisting of 11 people: father, mother and nine children are currently in isolation despite only four showing symptoms of the disease.

Samples were sent to to a laboratory to confirm the diagnosis while field research is being conducted to locate other members of the community affected by their science denying neighbors.

Translation: Forced vaccinations for baby hippies

In 2011, the WHO estimated that 158,000 deaths were caused by measles world-wide.

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