by Wen Yu Leavin

Measles, a highly contagious infectious disease, has just been reintroduced to Costa Rica and local officials are blaming it on Gluten-Free tourist. The totally preventable disease, which was first spotted on an unvaccinated 5-year-old French boy back in February, recently made the news again last week, when it was learned that a bunch of White People in Puntarenas were trying to make it fashionable again.

Despite the outbreak the Ministry of Health was quick to assert that “there will not be an epidemic of measles in our country,” citing Costa Rica’s strict “inject ’em or we will” immunization policy.

“The General Health Law (Ley General de Salud) sanctions parents or guardians who oppose this vaccination,” the organization said in a press release. “PANI can intervene through the Court of Childhood and Adolescence, since the most serious complications are blindness, pneumonia and brain inflammation and in some cases, death.”

“It a parent’s obligation to take their children be vaccinated,” said Children’s Minister, Patricia Vega Herrera. “This is to fulfill the right to health and the duties of protection and care.”

Last year in Costa Rica, more than 14,000 children were taken away from their parents for not providing them with proper medical care. This includes children who were not vaccinated. The strict policy leaves parents who would prefer to not vaccinate their children only one option:

Vaxx or GTFO

If you are one of the countless antivaxxers in Costa Rica that has seemingly forgotten how you got here, Tico Doug has included a handy airport guide to help you find your way back to whichever shithole country you came from.

Top 2 Airports To Use When You Go

Juan Santamaría International Airport (Spanish: Aeropuerto Internacional Juan Santamaría) (IATA: SJO, ICAO: MROC) is the primary airport serving San José, the capital of Costa Rica. The airport is located in the city of Alajuela, 20 km (12 miles) west of downtown San José.

Our pot smoking readers in Cobano may prefer the Daniel Oduber Quirós International Airport (Spanish: Aeropuerto Internacional Daniel Oduber Quirós) (IATA: LIR, ICAO: MRLB), also known as Liberia International Airport.

If you don’t mind a little bit of a layover, one-way flights to Miami can be found on for less than $200 per person.

Whichever airport you decide to go with, The Costa Rica Post not only respects your decision to not vaccinate your children but we also applaud your decision to leave.

Vaya con Dios idota